Disturbing

Last week I stopped back at the pharmacy to pick up the rest of the insulin. It was busy with a milling group of customers, some impatient and cutting ahead of the others. When I was going up to the counter I noticed an overweight cop waiting and my subconscience began jumping up and down trying to get my attention.

At the time I was amused by what I find attractive, but later realized two disturbing things. One: I haven't noticed men in a long time and thought I was content with being alone. Two: I already knew I have a weakness for large men (John Candy type) but that pull to a cop was a surprise; if anyone should have learnt that a relationship with a cop leads to my becoming an epic failure, it's me.

Other stuff...my dreams have been very real and memorable lately, but also with a lot of random weird stuff that leads to me waking up thinking "huh? where did that come from?". Last night I dreamt my mother was a falling-down drunk in a theme park area. Why????

I've also been feeling anxious about the future. I suspect we will be seeing a drastic increase in the cost of food and gas soon.