One step forward...

More production layoffs at work this week. Now my car is in the shop with an estimate of $600-700 for the repairs. Somedays it's really hard to see the progress.

Stray thoughts

Does the tardis have a shower? A toilet? They never seem to be in it for long, but all that running...the companions must need to clean up. What about food? Maybe that's why they keep coming back to earth.

Work again

I'm fully booked up at work for about the next year. This is good. Being crazy-busy doesn't leave time for deep, introspective analysis and, best of all, means that my job is about as secure as I can hope. Yes! I'm going to keep paying down my debt.

Figuring it out

I would have been a lousy cop's wife. Maybe engineers just don't do well with cops or maybe it's all my temperament. I'm not passionate about my work. I can enjoy it and basically walk away from the office at the end of most days without a second thought. So why did I think I could adjust to a man who lives and breathes his job? I couldn't. When he got caught up in the work and I didn't hear from him for weeks I would get anxious and upset. Even knowing how much that work meant to him, I resented being at the bottom of his priorities. What would have happened if we were living together? Would he simply not come home for weeks without warning? Or be there and not notice me? Either would have crushed me. Instead, we both know, I would have been a lousy cop's wife.

Deep sigh of contentment

It's insane how good it feels to be home. Traveling for fun builds me up, but work is work. By the time I reached my home airport and was waiting for my luggage I felt like commanding everyone to shut up! I'm definitely not a people-person. I have some bizarre thoughts when I reach that stage of crankiness/exhaustion...I stood there watching all these people thinking what a boring color-palette we come in...all shades of browns and beiges. Red, blue, green, stripes would be so much more interesting.

The animals are happy to have me back, though their feed schedules are all out of whack. The guinea pigs seem to expect food at completely random times.

Three inches of SNOW on Friday night and rain last night are keeping me well away from the mud zones that will be my garden. The spinach is coming up nicely in the polytunnel and the rhubarb and garlic were unfazed by the snow. Seedlings in the basement are doing very well; the timer on the lights didn't let me down.

I think I'll lie down for a bit, the idea of going to work tomorrow is nearly overwhelming, so more recovery is needed.

Too old for school?

That might be my problem. I'm so beat after 8 hours that I'm good for nothing more than sleep. Fortunately the Holiday Inn Express in Oceanside California has very comfortable beds. :) Since I'm heading that way for another 10 hour night very soon...such a pity to not have anyone to share it with. Of course, this way the pillows are all mine, Mine, MINE!!!

There is one thing these southern Californians do very well, landscaping. The climate may be on their side, but they know how to make the most of it. I'd like to find a garden/park that I can walk in before I go home. It's hard to appreciate fully hurtling down the roads in full traffic.

More later...powering down to sleep mode.

Crazy busy

Trying to get everything lined up to be gone for a week leaving my son in charge, I feel like I'm running in circles! Starting seeds, packing, laundry, animals...so much to do. He is at job-training right now. Yes, he finally found an after-school job! After seven months of searching. He'll need something more this summer because the swimming pool won't be opening, thus no more lifeguard job.

Ouch

My digging yesterday had a delayed reaction. Today I'm limping from the pain in my knee. Just a bit strained I think. I planted cilantro, spinach, romaine and green leaf lettuce. Today is a bit gloomy so I'll be staying in with my leg elevated for the most part.

I'm watching the Dr. Who Easter special now. The next doctor has a lot to live up to; the past two have been excellent.

Spring is back

It's going to be a beautiful sunny day and the outside is calling me. I'm going to finish sorting the polytunnel and plant lettuce. It's also time to start cleaning up all over out there. The dogs will enjoy the company.

I just got caught up on a new favorite blog: http://mopsa.blogspot.com/ When I find an especially enjoyable site I go back to the beginning of their archive and read it all. This one has me longing to visit England in the spring. Such glorious barns!

Happiness might not be completely hopeless after all.

Today

Into the 50s today. Practically a heat wave. I'd have liked to plant the potatoes but that part of the garden is still under snow. I did do some work in the polytunnel clearing it out and setting old ceramic tiles arount the base. Hopefully that will deter the rabbits from coming in too easily. I'm planning on starting some lettuce in there.

Sometimes I think happiness is a dangerous feeling. So alluring, yet so easily snatched away. Life is simpler when you don't ask for much. For a brief time I thought everything was going to turn out right. It didn't. I still love him. I will always love him.

Work

It seems to be getting worse there. Management lies, people are angry. The young pups are so daft they seem to believe that a person with 25 years of practical experience will be easy to replace.

I've heard of this happening in other places; an incompetent, power-mad manager is brought in and gets rid of the hard-working, respected employee who knows what he's doing. Is it jealousy? A vain display of impotent power? Nothing good will come of it.

This is April?

Looks like the garden will have to wait.

Bad, bad news

The layoffs have reached my workplace. We've lost someone I've worked with for almost 12 years. Yesterday sitting in the cubicle next to mine, today gone. No warning. Over 25 years of design and product experience laid off because someone high up didn't like him.

Thirty people without jobs tonight. How awful work will be tomorrow.